57 challenging facts about life that could be yelled daily

· 828 words · 4 minute read
ear

Although life is still a complete mystery to me, I thought it’d be nice to share a bit of assertive confusion with you my readers, in the form of a random list of facts. Let me warn you: some of these truths are of such depth I have no idea what they mean.

  1. Start now, plan on the fly, adjust all the way until completion.
  2. Run away from alliances, develop friendships.
  3. If you know how to resuscitate your motivation, nothing will ever resist you
  4. Don’t hate harmful people, just keep your distance. That’s basic hygiene.
  5. Love everything, everyone, even those who voted for Bush twice.
  6. Relatives are the termites of creativity, solitude is where new ideas mate
  7. When a problem shows up: rejoice, it’s about to teach you more about yourself than any fucking holy book.
  8. Bad people smile more often than kind ones, beware of the polite!
  9. Stay silent whenever you get a chance.
  10. Don’t seek everyone’s approval, everybody needs you to do something controversial, particularly those who are against you.
  11. Listening to Frank Zappa significantly increases the size of the human brain.
  12. If you succeed, congratulate yourself, if you fail, take notes and congratulate yourself.
  13. Bury your perfect idea, spread some manure on it and then water it everyday.
  14. Just trash that guilt already. It’s the most disgusting western inventions along with nuclear bomb and turducken.
  15. Cheeses love you, especially Roquefort and aged Cheddar.
  16. Dark is the path of pride. Dark, lonely, and a little ridiculous on the side.
  17. There’s no such thing as bad patience.
  18. If you think teenagers are stupid, remember that poster of Iron Maiden you use to have in your bedroom. Be kind to  young brats, their self-esteem doesn’t need another hater .
  19. If you think you’re not smart enough, remember: you once learned to speak a language.
  20. Hostile people will want your friendship if you treat them with genuine respect.
  21. Those who think they need more power meet the requirements for a long therapy.
  22. Protects all living things that grow, except turnip. Turnip is pretty bad.
  23. How much time would you spend on social media if you had just been diagnosed with a terminal cancer?
  24. It’s smarter to be unfaithful to drugs than commit to sobriety.
  25. If you can make it a daily habit, you WILL get there, worry no more.
  26. If we don’t care for others, we become so easy to manipulate.
  27. Mingle with those who do better than you, you’ll experience a stimulating form of embarrassment.
  28. It’s harmful to give name to things we know nothing about, like Death, for instance.
  29. To make a difference, you need to change the way you talk to yourself.
  30. Idealism is a by-product of self-hatred.
  31. Rebelling against the system is still playing by its rules. Think Off-center.
  32. There’s no such thing as global conspiracy, although watching conspiracy documentaries is an awesome way to kill time.
  33. If you want to change the world, start with how you do it.
  34. You’re going to get old, so follow those who’ve done it right.
  35. To win against anger, just apply this single instruction: LATER.
  36. Simplify, strip-off, condensate, create value by removing the fluff.
  37. You can’t buy time with money. Cut down on work hours and love more.
  38. Thoughts are cumbersome and irritating, but meditating makes them transparent.
  39. Question your certainties, don’t replace them with other certainties. See if that makes you freer.
  40. There’s nothing more stupid and harmful than a crowd of religious people.
  41. You’re officially allowed to complain, indulge and procrastinate for the sheer sake of it. I have spoken.
  42. Hope is just a disguise for anxiety. Friend the present moment, it pays cash.
  43. Every time you’re about to blame yourself, listen to a track by The Orb.
  44. Give every situation a chance to make you more flexible, smarter and compassionate.
  45. Whatever you want to accomplish, give it 5 years, minimum.
  46. If you’re being criticized, at least you’re doing something worth criticizing.
  47. You don’t know what you’ve said until the others respond.
  48. Psychedelics will teach you stuff that you could learn otherwise, accept that you’re doing it out of curiosity.
  49. Invest now, spend later.
  50. The French possess what Americans try to despise, and the Americans have plenty of what the French secretly long for.
  51. Seizing opportunities is not as important as letting go of those that would distract you.
  52. “How does this work?” is what every kid asks, then they grow up. Too bad, this question becomes actually useful at adulthood.
  53. If you’re an animal lover, you can’t decently eat them.
  54. Overtime, meditation will transform you completely. Overtime. Be patient.
  55. Men and Women would become basically the same thing if it wasn’t for what they’re told when they’re kids.
  56. Values are crutches to help you walk straight until you understand how reality functions.
  57. You’re not just a biological machine, and scientists still don’t know what’s going on in your brain when you think of a cat. There is hope!
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